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| I really don't know why I have an Xanga anymore,
It's not as if anyone reads what I have to say, or gives a shit about it, for that matter.
But might as well get everything out while I can.
I hung out with a good friend of mine today, (best friend I guess I could say).
And I realized what a push over I am... haha.
I never seem to say no to what she has to say, it makes me feel... guilty, for lack of a better word.
I really wish I could change that, :l. I don't seem to have a problem with it when it comes to those I don't know really well...
And speaking of people, (:|), I always find myself feeling awkward around people, whether it's online, or in real life.
I don't really know why, I usually end up being quite goofy around people after a while.
I find myself thinking constantly about what I'm saying, and how I'm saying it, and if I look/sound stupid.
It gets a bit annoying, honestly. :l
And I'm always so anxious, -_-.
And have these RIDICULOUS/irrational fears... like I seem to somehow convince myself that murderers live in my 10 inch wide vents... I really don't see how that's possible.
But that's enough of my complaining for one day,
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| I watched The Science of Sleep today, for the billionth time.
That movie fascinates me in so many ways. I just love the way it's put together.
I haven't had a good dream in a while... only nightmares.
I feel so out of it. All my friends are gone, and I don't even feel like myself anymore.
I never sleep, or eat.
It's just read, sleep, write .
Sad, right?
I feel like all I have the energy to do is imagine I'm in different world .
Summer is such a drag,
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| I feel so out of place. And out of mind. I miss who I used to be,I miss the bliss.
I don't feel like trying anymore. I don't see the point in moving forward, if there's nothing ahead.
Summer is a drag. I feel so timeless, and lost. I want to go back to what I knew before.
The people I knew. The love that felt so pure.
I want to drive through the l/nights with my music blasting. And my heart racing.
I want to feel safe again.
My heart is in the pit of my stomach.
And on the verge of cracking,
Give me a reason to smile,
A reason to breathe.
Get me out of this place.
these words are pointless,
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| Honey, you're all I have,
Don't go now,
Hold me tight,
'Cause baby I'm falling to pieces;
Build yourself up, and break yourself down,
Should've known better than to believe anything you had to say,
You and I are going nowhere,
Kiss me goodbye,
And leave this town,
I'm in over my head, and beyond repair,
Nothing left to say,
looktotheskyfortheanswer
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these tears are something i can not forget;
steal the spotlight, put on a show,
the whole world is waiting, baby
let those tears fly,
and leave them behind,
look you in the eyes, only to find those dreadful lies,
forgive me, for i can't help you know .
latenighttales .
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| Ever want to be that kid, with dreams so big it could eat up the world?
Or that kid that was so determined to be a super hero, he'd give up his cookies? (:
Or that girl who's so sure that she'll prove the world wrong?
I'm that kid with the twinkle in her eye, every time she looks up at the sky.
The girl with the soul strong enough, and a mind worked up enough to take the world by storm.
I don't need you. I never did.
Lying to myself is to common these days.
Maybe I was just playing a game.
I can make it on my own.
I don't need you to be by my side.
I don't need you to watch my every step.
I don't need you to be my shoulder to cry on.
or maybe i'm jusy lying again.
this'll make no sense in the morning. (:
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